so my friend, the world-famous d'mang, came to LA last weekish to help me move and hangout and generally see what the deal with california is. in the spirit of misskendraluck(tm) of course, it was grey skies and wildfires all week, and since i was still on crutches for most of his stay, he also had to do all sorts of crap like help with my laundry and listen to me moan about my grocery store scooter/cart contraption being toooooo slooooow. amish people get places faster. much faster.
apart from all the tedium of moving etc, we did do some interesting things, like see a fabulous burlesque show and go to my favorite club
(behold, drunken backseat artsy photographer me
!) and eat about 3492867 burritos, and then on a whim, we went to the (also) world-famous san diego zoo
, where i rented yet another scooter, and let me tell you. there is no complaining about the scooter speed at the zoo. that thing could take out a swarm of kindergarteners in .06 seconds. in fact i kept trying, but kindergartners are so wiggly you know.
at the zoo we saw many many things, including a fresh elephant poo and some mildly disturbing birdsecks. also things like meerkats (verdict: cute), madagascar's famous fosa (verdict: cute) and tapirs (verdict: very creepy independently moving nose). there were plenty of people too ignorant and lazy to read the signs, even to their inquisitive children, and so i learned through my magnificent eavesdropping powers that this
is a "rare" banana snake and this
is a "common" black bear. we also saw lots of people who are apparently blind to the handicapped, as they would stand or walk directly in front of my scooter as if it were not there. this made for some heart-pounding moments in which i had to decide if i should suddenly BRAKEexclamationpoint!
or just run down those dumb fuckers like they deserved.
mostly i braked. mostly.
we also saw some pandas.this panda, like all pandas, sleeps and eats.
that is all. no matter how long you stand there.
and camels yes, i know camels aren't that special.
but i like them, so shove it.
and a beautiful family of giraffethis is the adolescent. quite the pinup, no?
and a playful rhinoceroshe's playing tetherball i think. he's not that good.
and one of my favorites, the hiphopapotamushis name is jabba. he is fat.
he is ok with it.just look at his blissed out buddha face.
we also saw gorillas (one came right up to the glass and laid down in front of it like he was displaying himself at a wake. he just laid there, in traditional burial pose.)
and the monkeys: not to be outdone by some gorilla,
the one on the left there presented her swollen genitals
to the other (and to us) just before this photo was taken.
after her rejection (thank god) she shrugged and commenced picking nits.
now this last one is really spectacular. oh yes it is. (channeling monkey
you know i am not a fan
of birds, but d'mang wanted to check out the aviary- it's one of the largest i hear- and so i and my speedy scooter obliged. i even maybe liked some of what i saw, pausing to take this picture of a fancypants blue-crowned pigeon, as it was rather lovely.but see this photo did not quite capture what i was hoping for,
which is why i was so suprised when the damn bird turned,
looked at me pointedly and then FLEW DIRECTLY AT MY HEAD.
it was like this... go on, guess who's who.
the bird just did not want its picture taken!
needs rehab! bad crown day!c/o natalie dee.